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Posts tagged relationship

stalemate

I had a dear friend once. She was originally from England. She had a uniquely marvelous perspective on the American world. She was one of the few truly honest persons I had ever known. I loved her within minutes of meeting her.
I came to learn that her husband was terribly critical [...]

butterfly spin

My body is not who I am.
I am not this ugly, fuzzy worm,
I am a beautiful creature,
with wings
Wait, you will see.

I am a soul,
confined within a body
I am a soul,
struggling to be free of this captivity

cornered

The abuser does not have a need to recover when the relationship ends. He simply moves on. He has his pride to protect. He puts on his nice guy face and goes out hunting for a fresh victim. He will tell everyone that he sent the other on her way.
It [...]

stay, or go?

If you are abused, there are two things left to you: Staying -or- Leaving.
I thought I was keeping the family together. That it was better for my children to have their father with them. I thought that god wanted it this way.
My two little girls needed their mother, but she was gone. She was lost [...]

loving yourself during the holidays

Happy Sunday! The sun is shining (whether we can see it or not) and the world is still spinning out there in space, and You are Free! You are Safe! No one will hit you today. No one will break any of your bones today, or shoot at you, or throw the entire honey [...]

eggshells and lug nuts

I felt like I had been targeted for murder. Might have been true. Might have just been sloppy work. Was it because of the life insurance policy recently offered by my office? Was it because his true self was about to become known. Or, all of the above? I guess that will never know, and I do not want to know.

Philadelphia: the whole story

I have quoted this article many times. I am afraid it will disappear eventually, so here it is, in full:
NY TIMES
Philadelphia to Handle Abuse Calls Differently
By IAN URBINA
Published: December 30, 2009
Responding to a sharp increase in homicides stemming from domestic violence, the Philadelphia Police Department announced plans this week to change how officers handle domestic [...]

the painful truth

. . a woman is battered every nine seconds in the United States.

. . . domestic violence kills ten women every day in this country.

be who you are

My point is: be who you are. If you are gay or lesbian, please, know that understanding and acceptance are part of reality now. Be who you are. Love the person you love. Please don’t love the person you are expected to love. It never works out.

my sisters, and other sisters

I have three younger sisters,
they will always be little girls
in my mind
They are in fact,
grown women now
with families and joys and
sorrows of their own.
Tonight,
I was thinking of my other sisters
the women out there,
across this globe,
where ever they might be
whose lives are not in their control
whose husbands are their jailers
their keepers
whose children are hostages to the [...]

expectations

Broken hearts and shattered dreams
are the stuff of expectations.
they are the trouble after all
if only this . . .
if only that . . .
Daydreams and wishes are wasted hours
today is all we have,
this very moment,
right now
is all that we can truly
call our own
the rest is stuff,
and expectations.
If you must love,
don’t spend it
on the one [...]

forever, or at least until next week

I was a child of the Cold War years, (you know, The Bomb; dog tags with name, address and religious preference; hiding from nuclear annihilation under our plastic school desks) . . . We were ten years old and the end of the world was our future.
We had no tomorrow. We didn’t even have [...]

but, I love him

I know. He hits you where it will not show. You cover up with long sleeves. He is so very, terribly sorry, when he hurts you. You forgive him.

warning signs

She added that 21 of the 35 domestic homicide victims in the study had made a total of 178 calls to the police, and that some of the callers had restraining orders against their killers.

Twenty-one women called the police one hundred seventy-eight times. They are all dead.

leaving too soon

Some women leave too soon.
How can that be?
Because, they go back.
If you are not ready to leave your “stuff” – it’s too soon. If you still love the bum, stay with him, eventually he will convince you that he is not worth loving. However, the price you pay may be your life, or your [...]

Steve’s story

Whatever your sexual preference, if the threat of violence is in your life you will understand Steve and feel his pain. What is there to do, really, when you are being threatened? Having “been there, done that” … my response is “run for your life.” T

the strong woman

So, who is the woman who “draws” violence to her? She is strong. She is tireless. She will not give in, or give up, or go back. What victory is there in overcoming a compliant woman? What joy in besting an adversary who lies down and waits to be overtaken?

friends can help

If you are her friend, and you think that she doesn’t know that you know, maybe you need a check-up. If you are her friend, you know. She has hollow eyes. She has lost (or gained) weight. She winces when you hug her hello or good-bye. She doesn’t look at you when you talk. She seems to have nothing to say.

alone

My best advice? Have the number of a shelter memorized. Do away with anything that he can use to track you down or hurt your family. Take as little as possible. Escape is just that. It is not a vacation.

recycled me

Coming back to life, bit by bit, I felt a little like a jigsaw puzzle, or maybe Frankenstein’s monster. Some parts were okay, and functioning well, and some parts of me were still paralyzed. Some of the edge pieces were still missing.