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Posts tagged recovery

brutal honesty

No, your mean spirited truth can not destroyed me,
nor will I fall apart while you slice the very air with the
sharpened knives of your unkind words.

the flowers

“I bought some sunflowers, they were so cheerful.”
I can’t buy them. I can’t even cut them.
We have roses. . .
“You hear the flowers screaming . . .”
Yes, I do. (How did you know?)

come back, Mister Boyfriend

In our second lifetime, post abuse, my girls and I lived in a small, two bedroom, second-floor apartment. During the summer, new tenants moved in across from us. A woman and a little girl.

I don’t remember when I started to notice that something was very wrong over there. It seems like maybe it [...]

belonging

what draws a woman to a man who berates her?
to a person who takes power over her?
what flame is that with such power over us?

get over it!

if there is nothing but love
or hate
in this world

which will you choose?

summer flower

if all of life were this lovely
perhaps
there would be no fear
or anxiety
or troubles between people
if all of life were as innocent
as a flower,
and every sound
as peaceful as petal dust,
if every breeze brought only lovely summer scents
and fireflies,
then, just perhaps,
people
could be kind and lovely
to one another as well

the view from the road

I have been walking every evening this past month
it is becoming almost more necessary for my soul
than my body.
so many trees around me,
I reach out to caress low hanging branches
with my fingertips
softly brushing leaves and flowers,
absorbing their energy,
mingling our particles
for eternity
I speak my breath toward them in return,
lest I take without giving.
Craning my neck upward [...]

crazy

hot tears burst from my soul,
leak from my face,
without warning
been crying for days,
over nothing, or something,
feeling
out of control
anger
emotional outrage
flares hot
over nothing
or
something
that it should not
i am so very,
very
tired
of the fight to remain solid
my skin barely contains
the liquid fire
that runs through me,
burning,
electric fire hell
in my neck and shoulders
sparkling bone pain,
broken glass,
in my spine
can’t seem to get out [...]

whose life are you living?

Now that I am old enough to enjoy thoughts of what I want to do when I grow up – and to effect decisions about how i will live my life as it is now – i can finally feel victorious over those painful memories of the impossibility of living the life i was in at the time . . .

Back then, i was unable to create any life at all, for myself and my daughters. I couldn’t make the break with the past and go forward. I couldn’t find the answer – my life was at checkmate.

The grim Reaper waited, hands reaching toward me, willing me to quit. My daughters needed me to be strong, to take care of them, to make a home for them.

Go forward or die.

butterfly spin

My body is not who I am.
I am not this ugly, fuzzy worm,
I am a beautiful creature,
with wings
Wait, you will see.

I am a soul,
confined within a body
I am a soul,
struggling to be free of this captivity