[ Content | Sidebar ]

Posts tagged recovery

water and food for the soul

When I am no longer being nurtured
in my circumstances
it falls on me to nurture myself
or die
how that is accomplished,
or even begun,
is a mystery
and creates a terror in my heart
not again

the cold winter sun

The cold winter sun shares her harsh light begrudgingly.
hiding,
then fairly screaming at me from between the trees
as she dances lower and lower on the horizon.
I increase my pace,
struggling to stay warm.
A patch of lavender comes into view
curious
i move closer
I am overpowered,
the scent is visceral
I must stop
The bright new flowers
have rushed to open after the recent [...]

old

becoming older is simple
it sneaks up on you,
until it doesn’t
realizing my limitations,
aching for bones that don’t ache,
watching bruises bloom from simple bumps,
such an adventure
happily, i can still walk.
if i could not,
i would have missed this beauty
she will also grow old,
crumple in on herself
and lose her amazing petals,
which feel wooden to my careful touch
it is my [...]

before and after

some moments create deep fissures
in the skin of our souls,
as though splintering the heart,
penetrating even our deepest being.

sparkle

I am feeling alone
until I notice
that today feels magical
the late spring sunset has cast a golden glow on everything around me

begin again

life interfered
but the time is now
to return to what I love and what I can do well.

storm

suddenly the storm is me
my emotions rage and tear the air 
like debris tossed about in a wild wind
i will not be peaceful if it means dying with the words suffocated behind my lips
i will not be a shadow any longer
i must stand in the light
even if it is a storm

destiny

I was not his victim. I realize that now. I could have walked away a thousand times before I became so stuck in my own mind that escape seemed impossible. In the end, I became my own victim. I decided to believe that the things he said about me were true, his estimation of my worth as a human being, and my abilities as a parent.

He said that I would never leave him because I could never make it on my own, that I would never be able to support our children. And I decided to believe that I needed him. I decided to believe that I was helpless without him. I decided that it was my destiny to have that life, and that I deserved my fate.

time

time is crashing into me
heavy
demanding
i have bared my soul to the universe so that
perhaps
one
woman might live a better life
i hope it is enough

stupid, worthless, fat/skinny, ugly bitch

I was weak, dizzy, and exhausted. Not a good place to come from if you need to fight (or run) for your life. So, please, learn from my experience. Hydrate your body, it will help you to see what is really there; hear what is true; and live your best life.