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Posts tagged domestic terror

old

becoming older is simple
it sneaks up on you,
until it doesn’t
realizing my limitations,
aching for bones that don’t ache,
watching bruises bloom from simple bumps,
such an adventure
happily, i can still walk.
if i could not,
i would have missed this beauty
she will also grow old,
crumple in on herself
and lose her amazing petals,
which feel wooden to my careful touch
it is my [...]

that damn shoe

You taught me to walk in the other one’s shoes,
rather than feel my own pain.
Maybe that person had a bad day, maybe their feet hurt…
maybe that person is just mean and I shouldn’t try to understand!
I wish I had just told you to walk in my shoes!
I had enough pain, didn’t need someone else’s.
I needed [...]

screaming at the sun

walking slowly
through sterile parquet hallways,
stark walls announce original works of masterful color,
aching with soulful beauty.
each wrenched from brush and palate by a captive artist
who gave hope and heart to beauty
only to die alone
quite suddenly
i am face to face with the Crying Woman.
trapped in canvas ’till dust again
i stare at her for a time
drowning in her [...]

merciless

downcast eyes, twisted smile,

she thinks that she is hiding the pain
dancing on a wire

to a tune played by her leading man
it is a frantic dance,

a carefully choreographed ballet.
any flat look of disappointment sends ice into her heart

there is no end to the music

no breather between sets

she must anticipate each twirl and spin

for failure is unthinkable

and [...]

stupid, worthless, fat/skinny, ugly bitch

I was weak, dizzy, and exhausted. Not a good place to come from if you need to fight (or run) for your life. So, please, learn from my experience. Hydrate your body, it will help you to see what is really there; hear what is true; and live your best life.

abuse

interpret the word however you like.
if you have absolutely no power in your relationship,
no control over your own life
and no hope
this is abuse.

i saw the play

It’s been thirty plus years since I left my abuser. Thirty years, and still, the reminder of one moment, all that time ago, can steal my breath.
Not any particular moment. There were a lot of bad moments back then. It can be just a random memory, even a sound, or a smell, but most [...]

brutal honesty

No, your mean spirited truth can not destroyed me,
nor will I fall apart while you slice the very air with the
sharpened knives of your unkind words.

the view from within

What, exactly, is domestic violence? It is just physical abuse? And what exactly is verbal/mental abuse? What does that mean? Is verbal abuse a reason to leave, even if he has never hit you?

dark night

I always recommend Women Who Run With the Wolves, by Clarissa Pincola Estes, Ph.D. (the book is available at Amazon). She really digs into those Dark Man dreams and how paying attention to them can help you with important decisions in your life. This book saved my life. Every woman should read it!