“Nobody will ever love you like I do, you fucking bitch.”
If you have heard this, you are being abused.
If someone has told you, repeatedly, that you are worthless, stupid, fat/skinny, ugly, and/or completely unloveable . . . will you, in the end, believe this? If you have been continually abused with words, hatred and violence, will you, at some point, begin to believe that you deserve this treatment?
Abusers use repeated verbal attacks to break down your self confidence and strength. If you just hadn’t done that (whatever) . . . It’s your fault that I had to do that. . . Why did you have to go and say/do (whatever) and make me do that . . . ? It’s all your fault!
You are not any of those names he calls you. You do not deserve to have black eyes and broken bones. Google “shelter for battered women” with your zip code. There is someone, who has been there, who is willing to help you. If you call them, they will do everything they can to help you. If you can’t find a shelter, call your local police or sheriff’s office, they may be able to put you in touch with someone who can help.
I think that my dehydration was instrumental in my failure to fight back, speak up, get out or take off for the hills. Living on sugary brown liquids does not hydrate the body. When the body is dehydrated, all kinds of terrible things happen. I was weak, dizzy, and exhausted. Not a good place to come from if you need to fight for your life. So, please, learn from my experience. Hydrate your body, it will help you to see what is really there; hear what is true; figure our whether you need to leave, and live your best life.