The charming man will always have an excuse, always find a way to make it your fault.
If you confide in anyone who knows him, they may not believe you. He is just so charming, funny, happy, etc.
He loves his mother. He seems like such a good husband/father/boyfriend, etc.
Here are some things abusers have done, which you may believe if you like. Or not, if you are afraid to:
- punching holes in walls, doors, large pieces of furniture
- throwing things (toward walls, windows, furniture, persons)
- throwing childish fits and violent temper tantrums which are “your fault”
- alienating you from your friends and family by any means possible including lies and threats
- preventing you from eating, by threats, violence, and spending the grocery money on “more important” things
- gambling, using drugs, selling drugs, drinking to excess, staying out all night, staying out all the next day, and various other extra-curricular activities which do not end well for anyone concerned
and of course: it’s your fault!
I was such a fool. I thought I was protecting my daughters. I thought that they didn’t know the whole truth. What an idiot I was.
Yes, I actually lived up to his expectations. I was a stupid woman who couldn’t do anything right.
But today, I am alive. I am okay. I can do anything that I try to do. So, please: Don’t let him get you into that place where you believe him . . . don’t do it! He is lying to you. You are not the names he calls you. You are a perfect human being, a beautiful soul who does not deserve this treatment. Run. Get away. Leave. He will never change. He will never stop. It’s all up to you….
I hope you can believe this, and just run away, rather than letting it get to the point where he might actually kill you, which, yes, they also do.