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We were at his parents’ house. Our toddler had just fallen asleep on the sofa. I was sitting in a chair in the same room, keeping an eye on her, and watching something on the television.

My husband was suddenly standing in front of my chair and said, with a quiet voice: “I’m going to kill you.” I looked up, thinking, oh yeah, great, and saw that he actually had a gun in his hand. It was pointed it at my face. Suddenly there was a very big boom.

It was so fast that I simply sat there and waited to be dead. A few moments later, I touched my face and my chest – and it took me a minute to realize that I wasn’t dead. I wasn’t even bleeding.

It turned out that the “gun” was a starting pistol that belonged to his father. It wasn’t even a real gun. It just made a loud bang. I learned something new on the day that he killed me. I had not even attempted to protect myself, I was defenseless. And that was stupid.

His mother had been sitting less than ten feet away, reading the evening newspaper at the dining room table. I don’t think she even looked up. I didn’t understand her passive attitude. Still don’t. Except that, maybe, she just didn’t care what he did to me. Didn’t care that her son was a batterer. Or, maybe she was also battered, and had no power to object or complain.

So, be careful of guns. I can’t even explain how quickly my mind just went away when I saw the barrel of that gun pointed at my face. I had no brain. I was dead already. I could not move, or talk, or even object to my untimely demise.

There were many guns in that home. But it had simply never occurred to me that a gun could ever be pointed at my face. That may, in fact, be a common misconception.

Here are a few links on guns and domestic violence. There are many, many sources of information on this subject. Please, if your batterer has guns, or you think he does, don’t take it lightly. Learn how to protect yourself and your children, or, maybe you need to think about getting out of Dodge.

Family Violence Prevention Fund

Violence Policy Center – Facts on Firearms and Domestic Violence<

Loopholes in domestic-violence gun law

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault