like a secret,
behind the floppy green leaves,
this tiny pocket of flowers
brought a sweet smile to my heart today
i had forgotten
that secrets should be joyous
there was a time when my life held many secrets.
sorrows i could not contain
searched wildly for courage
and never stop
until the world was safe again
it took not courage,
the tiniest [...]
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there is no sidewalk, so i walk in the street.
the hills are steep for my old knees
but my legs are strong now
i love that i can smell the water
and almost taste the green of the cool space
near the top of the longest hill.
there are always birds here
and small critters i can hear, but not see
becoming older is simple
it sneaks up on you,
until it doesn’t
realizing my limitations,
aching for bones that don’t ache,
watching bruises bloom from simple bumps,
such an adventure
happily, i can still walk.
if i could not,
i would have missed this beauty
she will also grow old,
crumple in on herself
and lose her amazing petals,
which feel wooden to my careful touch
it is my [...]
but time moves always forward
old, and bent, and troubled
with bullets and bombs
and it breaks what it can not bend
growing older changes me
i feel watered down
some moments create deep fissures
in the skin of our souls,
as though splintering the heart,
penetrating even our deepest being.
I am feeling alone
until I notice
that today feels magical
the late spring sunset has cast a golden glow on everything around me
no sooner does my head touch the pillow
than the patchwork quilt of my memories and regrets
pulls itself up around me
and snuggles in for the night.
whether lovely or sad, has its own patch in the quilt.
the beautiful faces of my children and grandchildren,
my poor little mother, dying before she was even my age,
chasing fireflies on [...]
but the time is now
to return to what I love and what I can do well.
tonight, i feel like a bird’s nest covered with skin.
broken, twisted little branches
held together with bits of string and sticks and stems
wound up tighter than necessary to protect the pieces of me
that have yet to shatter