Would you allow an employer, a neighbor, a friend or another family member to berate and batter you the way your abuser does?
You wouldn’t do it with your best friend: “I’m so sorry that I was late for our lunch date. Please don’t hit me this time.”
You wouldn’t pick up [...]
Archives for domestic violence
What happened to me is not who I am.
I will decide who I am.
So, you think that you still love your abuser?
You think that you can work it out with patience and kindness?
Or maybe you think that you can handle it, until it gets better.
Counseling might help.
Forgiveness might work.
“I bought some sunflowers, they were so cheerful.”
I can’t buy them. I can’t even cut them.
We have roses. . .
“You hear the flowers screaming . . .”
Yes, I do. (How did you know?)
In our second lifetime, post abuse, my girls and I lived in a small, two bedroom, second-floor apartment. During the summer, new tenants moved in across from us. A woman and a little girl.
I don’t remember when I started to notice that something was very wrong over there. It seems like maybe it [...]
You may not want to face that danger.
You may decide to wish it away,
pretend it doesn’t exist,
but what you may not know
is how close you might be to terminal violence.
If today were the day that he killed you
would you wonder why you stayed?
what draws a woman to a man who berates her?
to a person who takes power over her?
what flame is that with such power over us?
if there is nothing but love
in this world
which will you choose?
if all of life were this lovely
there would be no fear
or troubles between people
if all of life were as innocent
as a flower,
and every sound
as peaceful as petal dust,
if every breeze brought only lovely summer scents
then, just perhaps,
could be kind and lovely
to one another as well