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she is still me

All of that was years and years ago. I did survive. I did recover. I am strong. I am very strong. I will never get over losing my son, but today it is alright for me to carry that rock in my heart. I wouldn’t put it down if I could. And, I have rediscovered that fiery young woman who got left behind back then. She is still me. No one will ever conquer her again.

the devil you know

unfortunately,

the devil you know
will get even

unfortunately,

the devil you know
will hurt you again

because

the devil you know
is still the devil.

grateful

The old year was a good year for me.

I have loved the moments of this year
my goodness,
what blessings I have in my life I should count them up more often
None of this would be even remotely possible
had the batterer in my life
been allowed to continue to degrade and destroy [...]

but, I love him

I know. He hits you where it will not show. You cover up with long sleeves. He is so very, terribly sorry, when he hurts you. You forgive him.

leaving too soon

Some women leave too soon.
How can that be?
Because, they go back.
If you are not ready to leave your “stuff” – it’s too soon. If you still love the bum, stay with him, eventually he will convince you that he is not worth loving. However, the price you pay may be your life, or your [...]

Steve’s story

Whatever your sexual preference, if the threat of violence is in your life you will understand Steve and feel his pain. What is there to do, really, when you are being threatened? Having “been there, done that” … my response is “run for your life.” T

the strong woman

So, who is the woman who “draws” violence to her? She is strong. She is tireless. She will not give in, or give up, or go back. What victory is there in overcoming a compliant woman? What joy in besting an adversary who lies down and waits to be overtaken?

friends can help

If you are her friend, and you think that she doesn’t know that you know, maybe you need a check-up. If you are her friend, you know. She has hollow eyes. She has lost (or gained) weight. She winces when you hug her hello or good-bye. She doesn’t look at you when you talk. She seems to have nothing to say.

excuse me, but your duct tape is showing

at other times,
i am that old me
with empty eyes
hopeless
the broken pieces of my life
sticking up like picket fences
around crumbling flower gardens

finding the path

We don’t all get to follow some straight path and have perfect lives with perfect skin and never a moment of stress. Some of us have to be the ones on the crooked path, tripping over roots in the dark, and ending up dirty and lost. That’s me. Well, that was me. I’m on a better path now.