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Archives for education

if only

Today I attended a holiday boutique with my lovely, talented, oldest daughter, who was showing her hand-made aprons. The show was in a a hair salon. It is more modern I suppose, than when my mother had been their client many years ago, but essentially the same. I recognized it right away.
My mother had thick, [...]

time

time is crashing into me
heavy
demanding
i have bared my soul to the universe so that
perhaps
one woman
might live a better life
i hope it is enough

bullet

I parked at a cheap lot several blocks from my office. I would get out of my car and start the walk. Each step was a victory. I figured that if the bullet got me, I would probably never know it, but I was saddened at the thought of my two young daughters having to go on without me.

the view from within

What, exactly, is domestic violence? It is just physical abuse? And what exactly is verbal/mental abuse? What does that mean? Is verbal abuse a reason to leave, even if he has never hit you?

job hunting

When you are ready, here is some job hunting info. I’ve been on both sides of the interview process, so I hope this will be helpful information for you.
If all you need is an Application:

-Your application should be extremely neat , carefully written, and easy to read. Do not rush. Bring your own pen, [...]

the journey of recovery

“. . . I would love to hear more about the journey from the shelter to where you are today. Because the shelter is only temporary, women often go back to their abuser for financial security. What advice do you have that a woman could do to gain financial independence if she has children and [...]

in the beginning: avoiding the abusive relationship

Every woman should educate herself on domestic violence. Whether you think it will ever personally affect you, you owe yourself a little education on the subject. There are a few good books/movies on the Booklist page. There are many, many blogs on the subject. . .
The bottom line is, always, abuse. Whether verbal, physical, mental: Abuse is the killer of happiness. The breaker of hearts. The shovel that buries the cheerful soul in the dust. Abuse runs rampant until somebody stops it.

nothing will change, until we change it

Perhaps education is the key. Perhaps learning the truth and offering what help we can will make a difference. I believe that Middle School is the best place to address young people about personal violence – before they start dating, before the become just a piece of “property” in the sexual violence world. Help them if you can. Write a check. Offer your services. Teach your children to respect one another. Do something. Do anything you can. Nothing will change until we change it.

taking a stand against violence

“Now is the time to find the courage, and to stop looking the other way when you see signs of abuse. Whether we are talking about domestic violence or abuse of any form, we all have a responsibility to act, or risk the likelihood that it will happen again,” writes Esta Soler, President and Founder [...]

my sisters, and other sisters

I have three younger sisters,
they will always be little girls
in my mind
They are in fact,
grown women now
with families and joys and
sorrows of their own.
Tonight,
I was thinking of my other sisters
the women out there,
across this globe,
where ever they might be
whose lives are not in their control
whose husbands are their jailers
their keepers
whose children are hostages to the [...]

she is still me

All of that was years and years ago. I did survive. I did recover. I am strong. I am very strong. I will never get over losing my son, but today it is alright for me to carry that rock in my heart. I wouldn’t put it down if I could. And, I have rediscovered that fiery young woman who got left behind back then. She is still me. No one will ever conquer her again.

the devil you know

unfortunately,

the devil you know
will get even

unfortunately,

the devil you know
will hurt you again

because

the devil you know
is still the devil.

grateful

The old year was a good year for me.

I have loved the moments of this year
my goodness,
what blessings I have in my life I should count them up more often
None of this would be even remotely possible
had the batterer in my life
been allowed to continue to degrade and destroy [...]

but, I love him

I know. He hits you where it will not show. You cover up with long sleeves. He is so very, terribly sorry, when he hurts you. You forgive him.

leaving too soon

Some women leave too soon.
How can that be?
Because, they go back.
If you are not ready to leave your “stuff” – it’s too soon. If you still love the bum, stay with him, eventually he will convince you that he is not worth loving. However, the price you pay may be your life, or your [...]

Steve’s story

Whatever your sexual preference, if the threat of violence is in your life you will understand Steve and feel his pain. What is there to do, really, when you are being threatened? Having “been there, done that” … my response is “run for your life.” T

the strong woman

So, who is the woman who “draws” violence to her? She is strong. She is tireless. She will not give in, or give up, or go back. What victory is there in overcoming a compliant woman? What joy in besting an adversary who lies down and waits to be overtaken?

friends can help

If you are her friend, and you think that she doesn’t know that you know, maybe you need a check-up. If you are her friend, you know. She has hollow eyes. She has lost (or gained) weight. She winces when you hug her hello or good-bye. She doesn’t look at you when you talk. She seems to have nothing to say.

excuse me, but your duct tape is showing

at other times,
i am that old me
with empty eyes
hopeless
the broken pieces of my life
sticking up like picket fences
around crumbling flower gardens

finding the path

We don’t all get to follow some straight path and have perfect lives with perfect skin and never a moment of stress. Some of us have to be the ones on the crooked path, tripping over roots in the dark, and ending up dirty and lost. That’s me. Well, that was me. I’m on a better path now.

Taming the Shrew

The Shrew, that was me. I was untamed and wild. Shakespeare came to his rescue. It was very early in our marriage, but suddenly he announced that now he knew “how to handle me.”
Okay, I had a working knowledge of Shakespeare, I had read many of the plays, but somehow The Taming of the Shrew [...]

rain dance

If you feel hopeless, older than your years, exhausted by 9:00 a.m., or just amazingly stupid. Maybe you are dehydrated.

If you never take another piece of advice in your life, this is the one exception you should make: Hydrate!!!

hydration: a matter of life

I have been dizzy, light headed, unable to make simple decisions, exhausted, and unable to sleep. Wow, that sounds like my whole life.

My sweet little lady doc. called me in the evening and insisted that I go, now, and buy Gatorade and drink a lot of it. “You are severely dehydrated.” – What did I know? I do know, that after a few bottles of Gatorade, I began to feel like a new person.