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paycheck abuse

Being in an abusive work relationship is similar to being in an abusive marriage. Self-esteem erodes. The ability to function independently declines. Fear rules your life. Your health deteriorates.

food for thought

The drama of control extended to every area of my life, every particle of my being. My critical mind was gone, battered into submission. The violence and hatred had taken its toll over the years.

but, I love him

I know. He hits you where it will not show. You cover up with long sleeves. He is so very, terribly sorry, when he hurts you. You forgive him.

common knowledge

Many years ago, when I was finally divorcing the father of my children, I phoned a former neighbor to get a statement corroborating my “story” of abuse for my attorney. My neighbor told me that the abuse was “common knowledge.” I thanked her, and hung up the phone, and broke into a million pieces.
Why hadn’t [...]

Steve’s story

Whatever your sexual preference, if the threat of violence is in your life you will understand Steve and feel his pain. What is there to do, really, when you are being threatened? Having “been there, done that” … my response is “run for your life.” T

friends can help

If you are her friend, and you think that she doesn’t know that you know, maybe you need a check-up. If you are her friend, you know. She has hollow eyes. She has lost (or gained) weight. She winces when you hug her hello or good-bye. She doesn’t look at you when you talk. She seems to have nothing to say.

alone

My best advice? Have the number of a shelter memorized. Do away with anything that he can use to track you down or hurt your family. Take as little as possible. Escape is just that. It is not a vacation.

sticks and stones and broken bones

I wonder, is it something that we share. . . those of us who continually find ourselves in that winding, dark, spider-webbed, unforgiving space that is abuse? Do we all follow the breadcrumbs, hoping to escape? Why do we always seem to end up at the very trouble that we came from?

Taming the Shrew

The Shrew, that was me. I was untamed and wild. Shakespeare came to his rescue. It was very early in our marriage, but suddenly he announced that now he knew “how to handle me.”
Okay, I had a working knowledge of Shakespeare, I had read many of the plays, but somehow The Taming of the Shrew [...]