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Archives for leaving

rain

burning black sand
extravagantly bright flowers
quite suddenly dripping with warm rain
that pounds the earth with unreasonable fury
in a moment, the rain is gone
and the sand is burning hot again
violence is not rain
it does not simply stop.
bravery is necessary
yet one time more than you believe is in you
run
before you cannot

(c) 2020 Belinda Geiger

stay, or go?

If you are abused, there are two things left to you: Staying -or- Leaving.
I thought I was keeping the family together. That it was better for my children to have their father with them. I thought that god wanted it this way.
My two little girls needed their mother, but she was gone. She was lost [...]

guerrilla warfare in the happy home

Do you have a beautiful home in a nice suburb? A sky-high condo? Or a third-floor walk-up? The trappings of success will not protect you from domestic violence.
Maybe you think you are simply losing your mind. After all, how could this be happening to you? You have a perfect life. A charming [...]

into the night sky

Today is the first day of the rest of my forever. I will cherish this day, and this night, and be thankful for the days I have had, both good and not so good, and whatever tomorrows will become part of my history.
I am beginning to believe that we are all just learning to [...]

surviving survival

When we were at the shelter almost the first thing I heard was that something like eighty percent of the women would go back to their abusers. I think now I finally understand why. They are afraid of making a new life, of all the changes, but they already know how to function in their old lives.

smoke and mirrors

Our escape wasn’t long after that. We did it together. We walked away one bright sunny morning and went to the shelter instead of their school. My two little girls. They expected me to have the courage to leave. So, I did. We did.

run, don’t walk

He drove up just as I was walking to my packed car with my baby in my arms. He was furious. I was terrified. I ran back into the house and slammed the door and locked it. He pounded on the door. Someone called the police. My dad kept him outside of the [...]

paycheck abuse

Being in an abusive work relationship is similar to being in an abusive marriage. Self-esteem erodes. The ability to function independently declines. Fear rules your life. Your health deteriorates.

food for thought

The drama of control extended to every area of my life, every particle of my being. My critical mind was gone, battered into submission. The violence and hatred had taken its toll over the years.

but, I love him

I know. He hits you where it will not show. You cover up with long sleeves. He is so very, terribly sorry, when he hurts you. You forgive him.

common knowledge

Many years ago, when I was finally divorcing the father of my children, I phoned a former neighbor to get a statement corroborating my “story” of abuse for my attorney. My neighbor told me that the abuse was “common knowledge.” I thanked her, and hung up the phone, and broke into a million pieces.
Why hadn’t [...]

Steve’s story

Whatever your sexual preference, if the threat of violence is in your life you will understand Steve and feel his pain. What is there to do, really, when you are being threatened? Having “been there, done that” … my response is “run for your life.” T

friends can help

If you are her friend, and you think that she doesn’t know that you know, maybe you need a check-up. If you are her friend, you know. She has hollow eyes. She has lost (or gained) weight. She winces when you hug her hello or good-bye. She doesn’t look at you when you talk. She seems to have nothing to say.

alone

My best advice? Have the number of a shelter memorized. Do away with anything that he can use to track you down or hurt your family. Take as little as possible. Escape is just that. It is not a vacation.

sticks and stones and broken bones

I wonder, is it something that we share. . . those of us who continually find ourselves in that winding, dark, spider-webbed, unforgiving space that is abuse? Do we all follow the breadcrumbs, hoping to escape? Why do we always seem to end up at the very trouble that we came from?

Taming the Shrew

The Shrew, that was me. I was untamed and wild. Shakespeare came to his rescue. It was very early in our marriage, but suddenly he announced that now he knew “how to handle me.”
Okay, I had a working knowledge of Shakespeare, I had read many of the plays, but somehow The Taming of the Shrew [...]