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Archives for realization

if only

Today I attended a holiday boutique with my lovely, talented, oldest daughter, who was showing her hand-made aprons. The show was in a a hair salon. It is more modern I suppose, than when my mother had been their client many years ago, but essentially the same. I recognized it right away.
My mother had thick, [...]


downcast eyes, twisted smile,

she thinks that she is hiding the pain
dancing on a wire

to a tune played by her leading man
it is a frantic dance,

a carefully choreographed ballet.
any flat look of disappointment sends ice into her heart

there is no end to the music

no breather between sets

she must anticipate each twirl and spin

for failure is unthinkable

and [...]


interpret the word however you like.
if you have absolutely no power in your relationship,
no control over your own life
and no hope
this is abuse.

the view from within

What, exactly, is domestic violence? It is just physical abuse? And what exactly is verbal/mental abuse? What does that mean? Is verbal abuse a reason to leave, even if he has never hit you?

deep regret

the terrible cold of discontent seeps into my bones
bitter words
 and anger
 send a frost
that burrows deep into my heart
I turn my chin to hide my tears
but i do not care so much that you see
as that it has finally come to this
the stone wall of my beating heart
will not accept this as a season [...]

only believe

My dreams are brightly colored movies that I live in, with all five, or six, senses in working order. It hasn’t been like this for me always, and I ascribe the change to my senior citizen brain.
My dreams are so real that I don’t feel like I am dreaming. They are usually pleasant, and [...]

a cry for help

In one night, the kindest, most loving man in the world covered her body with bruises and broke her heart into a million pieces. She was confused and terrified and felt utterly alone.

guerrilla warfare in the happy home

Do you have a beautiful home in a nice suburb? A sky-high condo? Or a third-floor walk-up? The trappings of success will not protect you from domestic violence.
Maybe you think you are simply losing your mind. After all, how could this be happening to you? You have a perfect life. A charming [...]

the charming man

DON’T LET HIM GET YOU INTO THAT PLACE WHERE YOU BELIEVE HIM . . . DON’T DO IT. He is lying to you. You are not the names he calls you. You are a perfect human being, a beautiful soul who does not deserve this treatment. Run. Get away. Leave. He will NEVER change. He will NEVER stop. It’s all up to you…. I hope you can believe this, and just run away, rather than letting it get to the point where he might actually kill you.

broken trust

What do you do when the trust is broken?

For the battered one, the sweet, fresh trust of love has been violated with the first punch. Nothing the batterer can do will ever bring that back.