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Archives for recovery

before and after

it seems that we keep time
in before and after.
not so much in days or years,
but in moments that stop everything.
some moments create deep fissures
in the skin of our souls,
as though splintering the heart,
penetrating even our deepest being.
each soul is marked by scars
by tears not shed
by pain too great
by fires gone out
by before,
and after.

sparkle

This is my walk
Nearly every day
I say hello to flowers and trees and tall grass
as they sparkle in the late afternoon sun
My heart records their incredible beauty and sad decay.
I focus on the shapes and colors of the leaves,
the twisted limbs of ancient trees.
every flower is delicate, unique.
some are faded, some vibrant
some reaching around others [...]

begin again

it doesn’t matter how many times I start over,
only that I do.
hypnosis is my love,
my power.
I can do this.
I am good at this.
life interfered
but the time is now
to return to what I love and what I can do well.
I will begin again.

exposure

tonight, i feel like a bird’s nest covered with skin.
broken, twisted little branches
held together with bits of string and sticks and stems
wound up tighter than necessary
 to protect the pieces of me
that have yet to shatter

storm

suddenly the storm is me
my emotions rage and tear the air 
like debris tossed about in a wild wind
i will not be peaceful if it means dying with the words suffocated behind my lips
i will not be a shadow any longer
i must stand in the light
even if it is a storm

bullet

I parked at a cheap lot several blocks from my office. I would get out of my car and start the walk. Each step was a victory. I figured that if the bullet got me, I would probably never know it, but I was saddened at the thought of my two young daughters having to go on without me.

butterfly spin

My body is not who I am.
I am not this ugly, fuzzy worm,
I am a beautiful creature,
with wings
Wait, you will see.

I am a soul,
confined within a body
I am a soul,
struggling to be free of this captivity

dark night

I always recommend Women Who Run With the Wolves, by Clarissa Pincola Estes, Ph.D. (the book is available at Amazon). She really digs into those Dark Man dreams and how paying attention to them can help you with important decisions in your life. This book saved my life. Every woman should read it!

night pulse

I hope that you are well and at peace tonight. I walked outside and breathed in the Universe for a few minutes earlier. Loving the trees, touching leaves with my fingertips. Barefooted, feeling the earth beneath me.
We have a storm coming, and the sky is a misty, leaded grey. Highlighted against the [...]

moondust

dreams and wishes are made of moondust
and, if you believe,
little fairies will sprinkle moondust on your eyelids at bedtime
you will have beautiful dreams
and
a beautiful day tomorrow
if
you believe in moondust and fairies
nobody changes, really
we wish they would, but they do not,
we might even pray that they will
but they can not
god will not change him for you
only [...]