[ Content | Sidebar ]

the cold sun

October 1st, 2018

IMG_9856The cold winter sun shares her harsh light begrudgingly.
hiding,
then fairly screaming at me from between the trees
as she dances lower and lower on the horizon.

I increase my pace,
struggling to stay warm.

A patch of lavender comes into view
curious
i move closer

I am overpowered,
the scent is visceral
I must stop

The bright new flowers
have rushed to open after the recent rains,
sensing light through the eyelids of their souls,
urgently unfolding into the new day.
stretching
reaching
gloriously becoming

I take a picture, but it is washed out
the light is too bright.
I move my body to create a shadow
and try again

I breathe deeply,
memorizing the moment.
joyous
unwashed
unchanged by chemistry

Today I have learned something

Light is necessary for life,
but shadow is necessary for vision.


old

August 9th, 2018

IMG_4517
becoming older is simple
it sneaks up on you,
until it doesn’t

realizing my limitations,
aching for bones that don’t ache,
watching bruises bloom from simple bumps,
such an adventure

happily, i can still walk.
if i could not,
i would have missed this beauty

she will also grow old,
crumple in on herself
and lose her amazing petals,
which feel wooden to my careful touch

it is my joy to have witnessed her life
even as my aging body requires me to walk slowly enough to notice

thank goodness

do not allow your old age to be stolen from you
run
get out
your stuff isn’t worth it
don’t wait to leave until the day after he kills you

before and after

July 3rd, 2018

IMG_4335
it seems that we keep time
in before and after.
not so much in days or years,
but in moments that stop everything.

some moments create deep fissures
in the skin of our souls,
as though splintering the heart,
penetrating even our deepest being.

each soul is marked by scars
by tears not shed
by pain too great
by fires gone out
by before,
and after.


living in color

June 25th, 2018

IMG_4209Will I be grateful for my life when it is over?
or, will I die wanting more?
I hope not.
Time, and time, and more time, to what end?
I am learning to be grateful for temporary things
love, kinship, a smile, eyes that truly see.
I look at the trees,
I doubt they complain about the years they don’t have.
It seems enough to stretch their branches toward the sun,
to witness thunder and soak up fresh drops of rain,
to stand tall without demanding eternity.
Each little thing is more than enough on it’s own.
Why does humanity insist on living forever?
I admire the beauty and strength of the trees,
endlessly renewing, shedding the old and moving on.
It is the way of the universe.
We live, we grow old, we die,
maybe we change form and shape and live again,
somehow or another.
It doesn’t matter
one life is magical enough,
if I don’t waste it living in desperation and fear.

Today I am free
because I ran while I still could
and broke the terrible bonds of abuse.


eyes open

June 16th, 2018

214564cc-eebd-4304-b825-93e2bf807e8f

sometimes
there are no words
my heart simply fills with gratitude
and longing
for the secret world of flowers
and the tiny creatures
who kiss them

breathing in

May 15th, 2018

img_2888
Poetry moves the earth around the sun,
it shakes my soul and my being
from the shackles of sameness
into the ether,
where entire conversations take place
on a breath of wind.

dying, with sparkles

April 4th, 2018

img_8740
There is no filling the empty soul.
It closes up around itself and refuses to take nourishment.
Nothing is right,
nothing lights the darkness.

The soul needs to sing and dance and play, joyously.
If joy has gone of its own accord
or been sold to the highest bidder
the soul will starve.

Take back the joy.
Let go of the shiny substitute.
Death hides in the sparkles.


spring

April 3rd, 2018

IMG_4660
it is spring
there are flowers everywhere.
joyous
stretching
kissing the light
shocking colors that only god can make

i memorize them, for darker days.
wild
as they are.


at dusk
they fold inward.
sleeping until dawn.


my soul opens into the night
it is peaceful
the air is thicker,
closer to my skin somehow


coyotes running free
singing to one another
and to me



picture perfect

March 17th, 2018

IMG_8181

It is quiet.
The perfume of flowers floats like a song on the evening air.
I whisper my love to the trees,
my heart soars with the dancing of birds in flight.

I feel close to the earth
and in tune with the spirits of her many wild creatures.
I am one of them. I belong here.

I don’t want to be erased again.
I am still trying to paint myself back into the picture of my own life.

wilting

March 14th, 2018

img_81491
When I am no longer being nurtured,
by my environment
it falls upon me to nurture myself.
or die

how that is accomplished, or even begun,
is a mystery that creates a terror in my heart.
not again.