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breathing in

July 12th, 2018

IMG_2888 (3)Poetry moves the earth around the sun,
it shakes my soul and my being from the shackles of sameness
into the ether,
where entire conversations take place on a breath of wind.




I want to be there
among the flowers and the trees and the tall grass
breathing in colors and magical dreams
touching new leaves as they seek the sun
lost in the perfume of fresh air and flower petals.


dying, with sparkles

July 1st, 2018

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There is no filling the empty soul.
It closes up around itself and refuses to take nourishment.
Nothing is right,
nothing lights the darkness.
There is no food for the empty soul.
The soul needs to sing and dance and play, joyously.
If joy has gone of its own accord
or been sold to the highest bidder
the soul will starve.

Take back the joy.
Let go of the shiny substitute.
Death hides in the sparkles.
Abuse is not love.
Only love can feed the soul.


living in color

June 25th, 2018

IMG_4209Will I be grateful for my life when it is over?
or, will I die wanting more?
I hope not.
Time, and time, and more time, to what end?
I am learning to be grateful for temporary things
love, kinship, a smile, eyes that truly see.
I look at the trees,
I doubt they complain about the years they don’t have.
It seems enough to stretch their branches toward the sun,
to witness thunder and soak up fresh drops of rain,
to stand tall without demanding eternity.
Each little thing is more than enough on it’s own.
Why does humanity insist on living forever?
I admire the beauty and strength of the trees,
endlessly renewing, shedding the old and moving on.
It is the way of the universe.
We live, we grow old, we die,
maybe we change form and shape and live again,
somehow or another.
It doesn’t matter
one life is magical enough,
if I don’t waste it living in desperation and fear.

Today I am free
because I ran while I still could
and broke the terrible bonds of abuse.


picture perfect

May 20th, 2018

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I walk in the evening, it is peaceful and quiet.
I inhale in the perfume of trees and flowers and smile at birds in flight.
This is a place that makes me feel close to creation and the spirit of all living things.

I am a broken soul,
with love for only four-legged creatures and
the heartbreaking beauty of this natural world.
I want to love without risk.
I don’t want to be erased again,
I am still trying to paint myself back into the picture of my own life.


that damn shoe

March 9th, 2018

IMG_3817You taught me to walk in the other one’s shoes,
rather than feel my own pain.
Maybe that person had a bad day, maybe their feet hurt…
maybe that person is just mean and I shouldn’t try to understand!

I wish I had just told you to walk in my shoes!
I had enough pain, didn’t need someone else’s.

I needed to scream!
But you taught me that my screams were worthless,
so why bother.
Understanding why makes all the pain better?
I don’t think so.
I understand what it did for me, in the end,
I turned myself inside out wearing that damn shoe.


the end

November 7th, 2017

gateI have seen the beginning of the end
it starts with always
and never
and continues down its road toward not light
but darkness.


The end is everywhere tonight.
in your face, your voice,
in the tension of your anger and impatience,
I don’t think you even know that the road you have taken has no outlet.
Given the opportunity, love will grow cold
as cold as your hardened heart.
as cold as the walls you build
with words
or no words at all.


partial truth

May 25th, 2017

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i choose my truth
from a basket of tangled memories
and a wicked, cold reality
that i can not outrun





midnight

April 22nd, 2017

IMG_5498it is spring
there are flowers everywhere.
joyous
stretching
kissing the light
shocking colors that only god can make

i memorize them, for darker days.
wild
as they are.

at dusk
they fold inward.
sleeping until dawn.

my soul opens into the night
it is peaceful
the air is thicker,
closer to my skin somehow

coyotes running free
singing to one another
and to me


water and food for the soul

March 12th, 2017

IMG_8149
When I am no longer being nurtured,
by my environment
it falls upon me to nurture myself.
or die

how that is accomplished,
or even begun, is a mystery
that creates a terror in my heart.
not again.


the cold winter sun

February 25th, 2017

february newThe cold winter sun shares her harsh light begrudgingly.
hiding,
then fairly screaming at me from between the trees
as she dances lower and lower on the horizon.

I increase my pace,
struggling to stay warm.

A patch of lavender comes into view
curious
i move closer

I am overpowered,
the scent is visceral
I must stop

The bright new flowers
have rushed to open after the recent rains,
sensing light through the eyelids of their souls,
urgently unfolding into the new day.
stretching
reaching
gloriously becoming

I take a picture, but it is washed out
the light is too bright.
I move my body to create a shadow
and try again

I breathe deeply,
memorizing the moment.
joyous
unwashed
unchanged by chemistry

Today I have learned something

Light is necessary for life,
but shadow is necessary for vision.